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I don’t recall signing over my personal responsibility to every woman on the planet with nicely toned legs and a propensity for living. I’m just saying that if you know what you want, why wait until he figures it out? If you get married at age 25, you’ll spend at least two thirds of your life in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in Christian dating culture is the idea that young adults should limit their coed relationships to marriage fast-track candidates.

If you want to truly understand how ridiculous this notion is, here’s what it would sound like with the gender roles reversed. No to offloading your immaturity onto the women around you. You should probably go ahead and learn how to relationship while you’re Jesusing. This idea is primarily motivated by fear of voracious little sex drives running about, and like anything motivated by fear, it jumbles everything into a needless mess.

“There are people whose parents encouraged them to get liposuction or other plastic surgery to conform to a certain body, to [increase] their chances of getting married."Bateman agrees: “I hear from matchmakers over and over that the number one question men are asking is, ' What size is she? '” And, according to Weiss-Greenberg, not only is the weight of the prospective date of interest, but “people ask the weight of the mother because [they] want to know what [their] future wife will look like.” Ironically, this focus on women's shapes and sizes proliferates even though Orthodox dating itself doesn't allow for physical contact between the sexes. I do believe most women are trying to lose weight in response, [though].”“In the times of the Talmud, there's an example from thousands of years ago that women would wear choker necklaces…to accentuate the fat on their neck, so that they would look healthier, heavier, more affluent, and more attractive,” Devorah Levinson, a referral specialist and the director of eating disorders at Relief Resources, which helps Orthodox Jews find culturally and religiously sensitive mental health services, tells SELF.

Currently, Sara is in the thick of the Orthodox matchmaking world. “If we fast-forward to post-World War II, to be thin was to be sick, so [mothers] wanted their Jewish daughters to look heavier.

“I can't think of anyone who doesn't know numerous people [that suffer from disordered eating].”While Orthodox men are not immune to suffering from eating disorders (just as they aren't in the secular world), the pressure to woo the opposite sex often falls on women because of what's known within the Orthodox community as the “ (matchmaking) crisis,” or the perceived courtship imbalance caused by an excess of available single women.

Sara* can't remember a time in her life when she wasn’t on a diet.

In fact, growing up in her Orthodox Jewish community, trying to lose weight was as routine as any other ritual.

We’ve spent over 10 minutes tirelessly combing the limits of the interwebs — dissecting every nook and cranny, examining every loophole, instigating mass pandemonium — and ultimately, we’ve brought you back a list of 10 ridiculous Christian myths about dating that your ignorant friends probably believe. These are real quotes from real published articles, by the way. I don’t know about you, but I’m spotting some major continuity problems between steps 2 and 3, not to mention 3 and 4. Time after time after time after time I hear it: Here’s the deal. It doesn’t mean they aren’t amazing in a lot of other areas or wouldn’t be good husband material. As we all know, pursuing Jesus means discontinuing everything else in life. Unless a monastic lifestyle is your plan (more power to you), this sentiment doesn’t make any sense.

This is by far the weakest excuse for a cop-out I’ve ever heard, and yet it somehow manages to repeatedly eek its way out of the mouths of otherwise-brilliant pastors, authors, bloggers, and never-at-all-brilliant Twitter philosophers. Last time I checked, I don’t get paralyzed when a hot girl says “Hi” to me, and I am literally the ONLY one in control of actions at all times. Why don’t all the men just grow up, and then we can start having some teaching for adults. If most of the Christian guys you’re interested in had it fully together, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation. It simply means they are lacking in awareness, confidence, or most commonly, know-what-they-want-edness. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t pursue a guy. If dating hinders your relationship with God, why would you ever date… If you’re focusing on Jesus in this season, who are you focusing on during all the other seasons?

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Based on a widespread belief that there are too many single women (whether that's true or not) single men are treated as the high-demand prize.“There is undeniably a certain amount of pressure in some circles where…the women have to prove themselves and have this pressure to find a man and get married,” Bateman says.

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  1. We want to say thank you to Harry Hewat and Riverside Church for the great support, encouragement and prayer for our team as we established the Word of Hands and thank you to our Lord Jesus for giving us the desire to see this service happen!

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