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These are just a small fraction of the things that enter into your mind.

And you have to figure out how to get yourself there. Does waiting at the bar with a drink make you look totally chill, or like a raging alcoholic?

Some people are dating purely for the stories, whether they know it or not. In New York, Tinder is so accepted as a means of meeting that elusive attractive individual who lives three blocks from you and ALSO loves hamentashen, you might not even lie to your grandparents about it. There’s a ton of awesome stuff to do in the city, and since you probably have an awesome and more chill time doing it with your established friends, you’re not likely to risk doing anything "fun" on your list with a potentially lame stranger. If the date goes badly, inevitably you end up doing something super awkward like saying goodbye and then walking to the train in the same direction and slowly trying to fall back. That guy who asks if your back is feeling okay after you have sex on the roof is not necessarily a gentleman, despite how sweet you think that gesture is.And thanks to online services it’s never been easier to find them. And if your neighborhood happens to be more than three stops outside Manhattan? Yes, New Yorkers also pass on prospective mates because they're too nice, needy, live in a neighborhood that’s inconvenient, or are just plain weird. You’re usually meeting at the bar/restaurant/coffee shop. What if it’s one of the eight months a year when it’s freezing or those other four when it’s unbearably humid? If they offer to meet you at a spot in your neighborhood, even better! (This never happened.) Thinning the herd can also mean dumping the rugby-playing med student because he was super available and attentive.

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Or because you really want that summer share in the Hamptons. Maybe you’re a traditionalist and you still believe you can meet someone in Central Park... This can be why most New Yorkers don’t want to commit, because they know that there will always be someone else, theoretically better, right around the corner.

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